{ Motherless Daughters } uniting those experiencing motherloss

Our Stories

Lonnette's Story
Losing My Mom, My Guidance

Hello to everyone. My name is Lonnette and I live outside of Houston, Texas. I have been happily married for 16 years and have two beautiful daughters.

My mother and unborn baby sister were killed in a shooting incident between two men who were fighting in a "beer joint" in June of 1970. My mother got caught in the cross fire. She was 28 years old and already had three living children. (me: age 3 1/2, my half sister was 9, my half brother was 10). My father was devistated to discover their homicide as he had just come home from work. (The "beer joint" was right across the street from our house) Both of my parents had a problem with alcohol (mother's blood alcohol was 0.257% when she was killed) and my father was so emotionally distressed from his loss that he was unable to care for me and my siblings. Therefore, we were taken in by various aunts and uncles. I remember seeing my father just a few times after the incident occurred, however, as time went by, I saw him less and less. About 10 years ago, he was diagnosed with cancer. He was terminal. My youngest daughter was about 3 at the time. Fortunately, he was moved enough to put some things to "rest" and we spent quite a bit of time together that last year of his life. I was devastated when he passed, but grateful to have had the time we shared, that allowed for there to be closure to a lot of issues.

I was raised by my father's youngest sister and her husband until I was 13. At which time my aunt had some "issues" that no longer allowed for her to care for me. I was then moved to another aunt and uncle (my father's oldest sister and her husband) where I lived until I graduated from high school. I married about 1 1/2 years later and started a family of my own.

Dealing with these losses in my life have been difficult. There have been moments when it has been more difficult than others, but I have always managed to pull myself through it. In a strange way, I look at mother's murder as a blessing. If we had stayed together, as a family, there is no telling what I may have ended up being. The dysfunctional aspects of their lifestyle were not exactly condusive to a "healthy" childhood.

Sure there have been times when I have wished that I had a mother around. I miss her. I think about her and my sister and father everyday. However, I know that we are not promised the next second in this life, so we have to live every moment as if it were our last. Tell our loved ones that we love them....and SMILE!

Anyway....for the most part...that's my story. (Some detail has been deleted to avoid boredom...ha ha)...but I wanted to share it to let other's out there that may have experienced something similar, that they are not alone, and that you can survive it. It can be tough at times, but you can make it.

I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who has experienced similar circumstances. Please email me... if you'd like to share.

Š Lonnette

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