{ Motherless Daughters } uniting those experiencing motherloss

Our Stories

Carrie's Story

To tell you that I don't think about my mother every day since she passed away would be a lie. I think about all of those moments that I needed her and she wasn't there and why she was taken away from me and my sister right when we needed her most. My mother, Mariann, passed away a little over 11 years ago, she was 37 and I was 12. If you were to tell me the day before my mother passed away that she was going to die I would have thought you were crazy. Besides an addiction to cleaning the house every night, my mother had no major health problems besides the fact that she had a thyroid problem and was extemely tall and thin (if only she had passed that trait onto me!)

She was by far, everything to me and my sister besides our father. We did everything together as a family. We always went on these little field trips together and we always ate dinner together. Besides cleaning, my mother also had another passion, me and my sister. She wanted for us everything that she didn't have growing up. She always made sure that our clothes were of the best quality and that we were proper young ladies. To this day, I still don't know how my parents were able to raise us so well. We never got in trouble and we were never really punished, we just knew what to do and what not to do. Anyways, my mother, at a certain point, had to go back to work while we were in school, which she hated. To make matters worse, work would completely stress her out. As a sort of de-stresser, or whatever you'd like to call it, my mother had me and my sister brush her hair while she laid on the couch. She in return, would pay us $1 for our services. Although we did get sick of it, we always gave in.

The night my mother passed away, there was a really bad storm. I can remember my little sister came into my room to sleep in my bed with me. Next thing I knew I woke up to my father screaming my mother's name. "Mariann, Mariann, wake up, wake up." Then I heard a slap. My father called my name, "Carrie, call 911." Only problem at that time is that 911 wasn't set up yet for our area. So I called the operator and after around 5 minutes I finally got through. The operator asked me what was wrong and all I could say is that my mommy wouldn't wake up. My father came down the stairs to talk to the operator and told me to go up with my mother. As I sat next to her in bed, I placed my head at her heart and heard that it was still beating. I told myself that she'll be alright, she's just having a bad dream. A few moments later my dad came back upstairs and told me to go get one of my neighbors for help. I ran across the street and told them what was happening. My neighbor ran to my house and told me to run to the end of the street to direct the ambulance when they came. There I was, 12, cold and wet in my t-shirt, waiting at the end of the street for someone to come save my mothers life. When the ambulance finally came, I watched everything they did to my mother. I saw her limp body fly into the air when they pressed the paddles to her. My mother was pronounced dead a little while later. For no apparent reason, my mother passed away in her sleep. It took almost two months for the autopsy report to tell us that it was a natural death. How natural is it when a 37 year old dies? The only reason I tell you the story above like I did, is because these are the images that are imprinted in my memory forever. Not a moment goes by that I wish that my last memories of my mother were different.

A couple of weeks ago, I got married. A few weeks before that, my husbands father passed away, unexpectantly in his sleep (although he had been sick a good portion of his life). I always used to tell him all of the things I wished I had of my mother. I wish I could remember her voice, I wish I had a lock of her hair, I wish she were there for every happy and sad moment in my life. When my husband went to the hospital to see his father, the first thing he told everyone is that he wanted locks of his hair and to keep whatever had a recording of his voice.

My mother will live on in everything that I am. Not a moment goes by that I don't miss her and not a moment goes by that I don't think that everyone that knew her for the time that she was here was given a little piece of heaven.

In Loving Memory Mariann Desimone Schlie 1954-1992

Š Carrie Schlie

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